Choose Patience
by Hayes Anderson '19
If we're being honest, patience somehow often gets a bad rep. It's the type of thing you hear from others when you are ridiculed. To be told to "be patient" can make it seem like it's some burden to wait, to simply take a break and to really think about making a decision before jumping to conclusions. I, for one, do not see myself as a patient person. I am guilty of what essentially today is seen as the epitome of being "impatient" sometimes as I often get caught up in the frenzy of doing anything and everything, leaving little room to take time to understand why I am doing something. While writing this reflection, I have come to realize that patience is more than the idea of simply "waiting for something" that our modern world has portrayed it to be.
When I was much younger, my mom was diagnosed with lymphoma at the same time that she was pregnant with my brother. She had been going through many treatments, and one day the two doctors who were treating her recommended completely opposite plans for her care, essentially giving her clashing advice where she was left to decide to agree with only one of them. One of the doctors said, "you need to start chemo immediately." He told her that she would not make it if she waited another week. However, the other doctor gave her completely opposite advice. He said that she had time and could wait 5 weeks so as to help my brother grow more under his supervision. Torn by what to do, my parents talked to our parish priest. Father Ray listened to my mom explain the situation and, immediately, the first thing he instructed her to do was to be patient - to wait - and to follow the advice of the doctor who had recommended she wait a month longer than the other doctor had suggested. My parents were shocked that the priest had told them to wait, when essentially there was no knowing if it would be too late. Father Ray gave them two examples from the Bible about why to choose patience.
The first story is when Jesus took his disciples out on a boat to go fishing. While they were out on the water, a furious storm came upon them and waves swept over the boat while Jesus was sleeping. The disciples woke him, begging him to act quickly, saying, "Lord, save us! We're all going to drown!" Just as they grew anxious and fearful, Jesus replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up, rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The second example is the story of Moses and his people while they were fleeing from the Pharaoh and the Red Sea. His people were crazed with anxiety and impatiently begged Moses to act rashly and save them. With God's intervention, Moses insisted they waited longer until the precise moment when the armies of Pharaoh were encompassed by the dark of the night. They had to camp for 8 long days, all to wait until they could cross the river. As Pharaoh tried to follow them, his army was finally brought to an end.
While I know that none of us are planning an escape like the Israelites, nor are we lost at sea, the examples that Father Ray gave my parents can remind us of the battle we have in our own lives. When our backs are to the "Red Sea" with no relief in sight, do we trust in the words, "Stand still and see what God is offering us?"
Every day is a battle to fight the urge to do things solely because we know that we can. We often doubt God's intervention in our lives. We are often quick to judge others and forget to give things time to unfold. Patience is being calm in times of distress, and it is being flexible in times of chaos. It is being approachable to other people when they simply need a friend, and it is accepting change when you want it the least.
As women of Visitation, all of us wait for clarity in our difficult situations with patience and anticipate the hope that we will eventually receive through our faith. Four years at Visitation has taught me that patience is more than being composed and being able to comply with a busy schedule. I have come to know that accepting the gift of patience is taking time to allow one to be the best version of themselves as they chose to live out God's plan with grace.
Hayes first offered this reflection to the student body during the Ash Wednesday Mass this spring.