Letting Go and Trusting in God

Letting Go and Trusting in God

By Angela Jewell, Assistant Librarian/Technology Collaborator

I am a planner. I look at the upcoming days, weeks, and months, and plot events out to ensure I meet deadlines and complete tasks without overlooking anything. I keep a mental checklist of both what I need to complete and when I want to start working on it, in order to finish before a deadline so I'm not rushed. As a result, it's not often that I forget an obligation or leave something to the last minute.

My desire for structure and my need to plan can be a positive trait, as it allows me to be (mostly) successful in "do[ing] faithfully all the things [I] have to do" in a particular day, week, or month. I usually remember events in my family and friends' lives; I typically complete tasks on or before the deadline; I am on time for events and appointments; and I consider myself to be a dependable person.

While my propensity for planning allows life to run more smoothly, planning also has disrupted my life.

I used to mistakenly believe that if I created a plan with exacting detail and specificity, following it would guarantee success. In times of uncertainty and doubt, I'd plan even more intensely so nothing was left to chance.

About five years ago, I realized that my planning and over-planning had narrowed the opportunities in my life to a worrying degree. Over time, without me being aware of it, my planning shifted from a desire to complete a task well to a desire to exert control over the uncontrollable. I wanted everything to run so smoothly and so perfectly that I wouldn't try anything unless I knew that I could ensure a successful outcome.

Although my honed planning skills allowed me to achieve faithfulness in the defined sense of dependability or accuracy, my intense need to plan revealed my lack of faithfulness and my lack of confidence or trust in letting a situation unfold on its own.

Ultimately, in making such detailed plans to do "all the things [I had] to do," I lost sight of fulfilling God's will. Who was I to think I could control the outcome of everything? Why couldn't I trust in the situation and trust in God that it would turn out okay?

In the five years since, I've worked hard to refocus how and when I plan. While I still keep a mental checklist of tasks to complete, I resist the temptation to rigidly plot out every moment. I try to stay in the present moment, remembering ultimately that the only control I have over a situation is how I react to it.

Direction of Intention

St. Francis de Sales

My God, I give you this day.

I offer you, now, all the good that I shall do

and I promise to accept, for the love of you,

all the difficulty that I shall meet.

Help me to conduct myself during this day

in a manner most pleasing to you.