Courage Through Faith

Courage Through Faith

By Raynetta Jackson-Clay, Director of Student Activities, and husband, Tracey Clay

At this season of our lives, we are faced with the challenges of our elderly loved ones. Tracey's parents have transitioned and my parents have reached the pivotal point where children have to balance independence, safety and dignified care.

We didn't anticipate how rapidly our parents' mental and physical health would decline. How did it happen? Why weren't we or they prepared? Why didn't they give us a heads up, after all, they are the parents, right? As we swapped stories with friends and family, it turns out this eventuality is both common and probable. It still caught us by surprise.

My parents have both slid into the position of the aged very quickly. Before my eyes their needs overwhelmed me. A heart attack, loss of memory and arthritis has left my war chest empty. Every day is the same. The inclination is to get them under our control so we can make sure to minimize accidents.

We need to get caregivers into the home to make sure they don't hurt themselves; have a heart attack/stroke and not get immediate attention; over exert themselves or not get enough exercise; get bored or depressed; answer the door or forget to answer the door; take medicine or not; miss doctor appointments or get confused by the doctor and then do it all over again the next day.

Many decisions need to be made quickly. Decisions like moving closer to us, managed home healthcare vs. managed independent living, Power of Attorney, banking responsibilities, medical/prescriptive needs, nutritional needs, home maintenance, etc.

What we were able to learn through the passing of Tracey's parents was that the journey isn't always straight. His parents were still functioning in the community with friends and family until dementia overtook them in the last year of their lives. The journey is filled with frustration and unbelievable sadness. However, it can also be filled with humor and boldness… doing things you never thought you would ever do because now the roles are reversed. Laughing at yourself and with your parents are the healthiest things you can do for yourself and others witnessing your interactions. Engaging the entire family is also essential to healthy caregiving. Their lives can be celebrated while they are still with us when we can accept they are just in another season of their lives that God has anointed.

Courageous conduct is within our power through prayer and trusting in God. When grace is added, God can help us navigate the balance of safety and independence. By boldly partnering with God, our decisions are guided by Him and not by our fears. God did not give us a spirit of fear. We trust He will let us know when to move, when to control, and when to let dignity prevail. So as people of faith and prayer, hug your loved ones often, and pray for them even more.

Deuteronomy 31:6

"Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you."

Please take a moment to reflect and to listen to a song we have chosen, Trust in You.